Still Desperate

We all need help at some point.  I remember in 3^rd grade I needed help learning to properly articulate my “s’s.”

On several occasions, I have found myself needing help on along the highway.  I have been stranded a couple of times when I have tried to stretch my last gallon of gas a little too far. In such cases, help of some form is needed…either a ride, or gas, or even a horse and buggy. Twice I have found myself stuck with a flat tire(s), once my rim was rusted to the vehicle making the spare tire irrelevant, and the other time I found myself stuck with TWO flat tires as I struck some debris left in my lane.  In both cases I had to call my dad for help.  Why dad?...because it was before cell phones and that is the only phone number that I had committed to memory.  In such cases I would usually walk to the nearest gas station and call “collect” (another reason for dad), from a pay phone and then wait for him to once again come to my rescue. 

I am now a father and finding myself going to the rescue of my own son from time to time.  As far as I know he has not run out of gas or been stranded on the highway with a flat tire.  Although, there was one time when I had to go help him because he hadn’t tightened his lug nuts tight enough and his tire had fallen off.  He called and said, “Dad something is wrong with my car.”

“Oh yeah? What’s going on?”

“Henry said, it looks like my tire was falling off.”

“Henry said???  What did YOU notice?”

“The back of the car was shaking pretty bad.”

I am not sure how he did it, but he made it into the school parking lot. When I arrived,  I found his car with the tire wedged kitty whompus into the fender.  Apparently, it came loose just as he parked.

When Isaac, was a young boy, there was a moment when he somehow slammed his hand into the side door of the minivan.  I was in the house and I heard him desperately screaming for help from inside the van which was inside the garage.  When I arrived to the garage and found him completely stuck and helpless with his hand in the van door I ran to help. 

I unsuccessfully attempted to open the door from the outside of the vehicle.  It wouldn’t budge.  I ran to the other side of the van and tried to open the door from the inside…all the while his hand remained crushed in the door and he is screaming.  Despite my attempts, I could not get the van door to open!  The door was not locked but it would not move.  In a final desperate effort I placed my feet against the opposite side of the van and my hands on the door and pushed straight out.  I was able to flex the door just enough to give him enough space for the hand to slip out of the door jamb.

We are all desperate, but we don’t always realize it until we find ourselves in a completely helpless situation.  When we are out of gas, stuck with a flat tire, hand stuck in a door or perhaps the wheels have come completely off, we desperately need help.

Matthew 20:28-34, shows us a couple of men who are completely desperate.  They are blind and they are begging.  They begin to cry out to Jesus in their desperation.  When the crowds rebuke them, the blind men begin to cry out all the more! Jesus knows our desperation and he wants to meet us in our desperation.  Jesus meets the blind men with his presence.  The greatest gift we can receive in our desperation is the very presence of God.

May we find the Lord meeting us in our own desperation.

 Authority

There were factors of childhood that I loved…and factors that I hated.  I hated, taking out the garbage, cutting the crass, feeding the pigs, cleaning my room and hauling wood.  I loved, eating, playing and telling my siblings what to do.  If I could find some way to convince, (or force)…my siblings to adhere to my biding, I would take full advantage of any such opportunity.  As a child I had little in the way of “constituted authority,” yet, whether it was my congenial personality or my domineering stature, I would regularly work to convince my brothers or sister to submit to my wishes.  If I needed my sister to do something for me, I would approach the opportunity with some form of sweet talk and weak promises of kindness.  “If you clean my room I won’t rip Barbie’s head off her body!”  If it was my younger brother who was the object of my authority, I would usually approach it with threats of wedgies and swirlies.  “I said get out of my room! Why are you smiling! Stop smiling! Wipe that smile off your face or I will use your face to wipe the toilet!” I would approach my older brother with requests of fake constituted authority.  “Ross, Mom says you need to take out the garbage.” Truth…Mom often hadn’t said such things.

When she did however, I would relish the opportunity to flex the authority that had been given to me.  If either of my parents commissioned me to proclaim such news as, “Jasmine, mom wants you to do the dishes! Or Rory, Dad says it’s your turn to feed the pigs, or Ross, Mom says I’m her favorite!,” I would egotistically delight in the task.  The power and authority had been granted to me to decree that my siblings needed to bow to my words…because my words were the words of our parents and they must be obeyed.

It is quite possible, that I not only allowed this power to go to my head, but also that I took my authority too far.  It is possible that my mother never did say that I’m her favorite…but we all know…I was. 

I am humbled to reflect on my past and realize that I may not have exercised authority appropriately.  When given the opportunity, I took to, “Lording it over” those who were under me…especially my siblings.

Jesus teaches things quite differently.  In Matthew 20:17-28, we find the well known passage revealing that if you want to be great in God’s Kingdom, then you must become a servant.  There is a fascinating double instruction in this passage.  First, we must learn to become servants.  Additionally, we also see that we are called to lead.  This passage is just as much about leading as it is following.  However, the way Jesus leads, and instructs us to lead, is vastly different than that of the world.  We are to lead as Jesus led…by sacrificing our own wants and desires for the sake of others.  Leadership is sacrificial.  Authority is given to people for the purpose of causing others to flourish.  We are all called to serve and we are all called to lead.  What would it be like if we could learn to lead in a way that would intentionally bless others?  What if our authority was used to cause others to flourish?

May we come to serve and to lead as Jesus called and taught us to serve and to lead…just as he did. 

Where are you headed?

We are all following someone.  Even the most independent people among us are following someone or at least the patterns of someone in our past or present.  For me, I follow Jesus…at least I genuinely desire to and try to, but I know that fall far short.  There are others that I follow.  In some ways I follow the paths of my predecessors, former bosses and supervisors.  In other ways I follow friends and colleagues.  Additionally, I still find myself following the ways of my parents. 

For example, I follow the ways of Pastor Phil, my predecessor, by keeping Dawn, (the Church Secretary and overall brains of the church), busy with solving all of my technical issues and computer problems.  I follow the ways of Dave, my previous cabinet shop supervisor, by continuing to implement the many lessons learned while working under him many years ago.  I follow the ways of my parents, by learning to do anything that is worth doing by constantly expanding my DIY abilities.  This creates some marital strife when I cannot keep up with the growing needs of tasks that must either be done or hired out.  Since I am unwilling to hire anything out…I will pause now and go and unclog the basement washtub sink….

…

…I’m back and pleased to report that the sink is now flowing.  Apparently, a number of mysterious rubber bands had found their way into the sink drain.  Why?  How? When?  These are questions that still remain and I may never obtain answer to. 

Likewise, I believe that in the same way that we are all following someone…there is another someone or some ones, who are following us.  I gotta be honest.  This second belief stresses me out more than the prior.  In the prior, I get to choose who I follow and what I do.  In the later, I don’t necessarily get to choose as to who will be following me, which makes who I am following all the more vital. 

In Matthew 20:17-28, we find Jesus revealing once again where he is heading and in turn what it means to follow him.  As he lays this out before his followers, it becomes clear that to follow him means sacrifice.  In a culture and a society that doesn’t embrace well the depth of self sacrifice, may we see Jesus’ example…follow him…knowing that others will be following us.  I think that this is the reality that could turn this world upside down!

The Last

 

Very likely, we have all been exposed to it at one time or another. For some of us we relished the opportunity, while for others it was a benign requirement of preadolescence and yet for others it conjures up post traumatic stress reactions that force us into therapy in our later years.  It is...the “picking of teams.”

Whether you are playing a backyard game of basketball, cops and robbers, kickball or smear, (smear was the combined middle school equivalent of football, rugby, and cage free mixed martial arts)  you have found yourself in the mix of having to have teams chosen. 

It could have been in a more organized format, where your physical education teacher, Mr Barry, (or other such real or fictitious name),  assigns two “captains” who will each take turns selecting the remaining members of the class to formulate two competitive teams. 

Most anyone worth their salt would have a pretty good idea as to who would be chosen first…and likewise…who would be chosen last.  These positions could vary somewhat depending upon who was present at the time as well as who was representing as captain, but overall the teams would be painted rather evenly with Mike and Joe going early in the first round.  I often found myself to be somewhere middle half below…but Heather and Julia would nearly always be drafted in the final round.

I would have been selected to a team dozens upon dozens of times for dozens and dozens of all kinds of different games.  Yet, out of all of these games I remember one moment quite clearly. 

It was elementary school Gym class and Mr. Barry had chosen the two captains, Jeremy and Brian.  Jeremy got the first pick and to no surprise he took Joe.  Brian followed with the next pick and confidently called out, “I’ll take Heather.” There was a collective gasp followed by silence.  Everyone in the class was stunned. Quite literally everyone was at a loss for words and couldn’t believe what had just happened. No one in their right mind would have taken Heather…especially after Jeremy had just chosen Joe.   I remember watching the shock on Heather’s face.  She was completely caught off guard.  She looked up and silently walked slowly up to Brian and stood next to him. 

Jeremy kind of grinned and called for “Mike…I’ll take Mike.” Again, no surprise.   Then Brian made his second selection, “I’ll take Julia.”  Again I looked toward the recipient.  She too looked up at Brian with questioning eyes, smiled and walked to stand next to heather.  The rest of the players were selected.  I don’t remember where I was chosen…who knows…maybe last.  I don’t remember anything else about the game.  I don’t remember what the game was nor do I remember which team won.  It didn’t matter…as far as I was concerned the winners had already been chosen. 

I thought of this event this week as I read through Matthew 19:23-22:16.  This passage made me wonder if Brian had recently read this portion of Scripture before he selected both Julia and Heather.  I didn’t know Brian all that well.  I didn’t know what his beliefs are or why he did what he did.  But whatever the reason, the reality that I saw reflected that day in Gym class is evidence in this incredible section of Scripture.  Our world has a way of measuring value.  We often weigh value against money, success, beauty and achievements.  Jesus looks at things much differently.  It is no wonder then, that Jesus is serious when he says “The last will be first and the first will be last.”

May you come to understand that Jesus is choosing you.  He doesn’t choose you because of your accolades, athleticism, special talents or even lack their of.  He chooses you because you matter to him.  He just wants you to say yes…and to stand by him.  

 Rocks

When I was a child I collected many things.  I collected baseball cards, football cards, rocks, sea shells, coins, cuts, bruises, wood ticks, toads and stains on my clothing.  Some things I collected on purpose, while others were purely accidental.  I didn’t go out seeking wood ticks…but as a young boy living a life of adventure on a small imaginary farm, wood ticks came with the territory.  I am not sure that my mother appreciated most of my collections.  She could tolerate the baseball cards and football cards but only until I was married, at which time she came for a pleasant visit and dropped the large bin of cardboard photos at my feet saying, “Here you go! I’ve stored them long enough! It is your turn now!”

I had a small coin collection that I have to this day.  In fact, I have some rare pennies that might be worth up to one cent…maybe even twice that! 

When our family would go to the lake, I could often be found collecting sea shells.  Truth be told…there were just snail shells or clam shells, but I was convinced that they were valuable and worth keeping.  I often would load my hands with them to a point where I could no longer carry any more.

I also collected rocks.  As an elementary school student I had found some whitish quartzite the size of baseballs…maybe golf balls…but they seemed so big to me at the time…that I was convinced were magic crystals…with no magical powers.  On a family trip to the North Shore of Lake Superior I scooped up rock after rock, agate after agate.  I filled my pockets, my hands and my shirt with as many rocks as I could hold.  As I continued to add to my supply I found that I dropped more and more stones at an accelerated rate.  In fact the more stones I tried to collect…the less it seemed that I could actually keep in my possession.  I remember seeing an exceptionally large and attractive agate next to the gooseberry river. I have since named the agate, The Big Beautiful Agate. I carefully knelt beside the tennis ball sized stone and tried to pinch it between my elbows.  Not only was I unsuccessful, I lost more stones in the process and ended up leaving the big beautiful agate behind.  Incidentally, my mother made me leave all of the other stones on the ground before I got back into the car…empty handed I came…empty handed I left.

I consider the story of a rich young man who meets Jesus in Matthew 19:16-30.  This story reveals how this young man is holding onto so many treasures that he cannot obtain the one treasure that clearly outweighs the others.  Jesus even invites him to let go of those treasures, (“…sell everything that you have, give it to the poor and come and follow me and you will have treasure in heaven…”).  In the story, the man goes away sad, because he is unwilling to give up that which he cannot keep to obtain that which he cannot lose.

May we come to respond to Jesus’ invitation.  It is an invitation to trust him and follow him, to the point that we understand that nothing in this world can compare.

 Helpless

I remember leaving the hospital, with the first of our four children.  I must admit, I was pretty clueless as to what it meant to be a father.  Contrarily, the nurses must have had some idea of my inadequacies as I was mandated to engage in countless classes and videos teaching me to change diapers, care for infants and properly buckle the required 5 point harness for the approved car seat.  Despite coming to a place of mastery with the 5 point harness, being able to secure the buckle with one hand while cradling the baby and a hot cup of coffee in the other without spilling a drop, I still felt relatively helpless as a father.

 I recall walking into the house with our new baby girl thinking, “Now what? I have no idea what I am doing. I feel utterly helpless!”

Irony struck me then, as I took her into her room for the first time.  As helpless as I felt, the child that I was now tucking into her crib…(tucking without blankets or anything soft, comfy or squishy, because I learned of their dangers on a lengthy VHS cassette), I realized that this young life was absolutely helpless.  She could not eat on her own, move on her own, change clothes on her own and disappointingly…not able to change her diapers on her own.

I would spend the next 21 years helping this girl to not be helpless…and yet, I see what Jesus says in Matthew 19:13-15, where he again references children.  Culturally speaking, the children at this time, as well as in many ways our cultures today, are helpless.  It is this very characteristic, that Jesus seems to be pointing toward!  Does Jesus really want us to be helpless?  I many ways, I think that the answer is yes.  I think that it is in our helplessness, that we find our deepest realizations for our need for help.  We are in fact desperate for a helper because we are truly helpless.  We are helpless in meeting our deepest spiritual needs.

May we come to see our own helplessness...and the helper is there for us…to take care of our spiritual needs. 

Barbie

I should have seen it coming…but I didn’t. Before I knew what was happening I came face to face with Barbie.  Yes…Barbie herself, with all of her hard molded plastic head, flowing blond locks and painted eye shadowed face.  The next day when my friends would ask me what caused the black and blue egg shaped welt on my forehead, I would have to confess that my sister hit me in the head with her Barbie Doll.  But it was ok, because if ripped the doll’s head off thereafter. 

I probably had it coming, as…(I know this is hard to believe)…I pestered my siblings to the point of violent retaliation.  I can’t remember the cause of the conflict.  It could have been me constantly interrupting her alone time, or verbally copying everything she would say including, “Stop copying me! (Stop copying me), Mom! Ryan’s copying me! (Mom! Ryan’s copying me!).  You get the picture.  I probably earned my bruise. 

Yet, I think that we can all agree…Ruth Handler did not create Barbie intending it to be used to whack older brothers in the face…unless of course she too had older brothers…then…maybe?    According to Wikipidia…which may or may not be true…Barbie was invented with the intention of enhancing how girls played with dolls. 

There is intention behind every great invention.  It is believed that the invention of the light bulb was to…make it light.  The invention of the swimming pool was to…swim.   The invention of the coffee pot was to…make me happy. 

Matthew 19:1-12 also reveals a picture of what God intended with marriage. I think that sometimes we lose sight of what God’s intent for marriage really is.  I think 25 years ago, I believe that marriage was in some way or another intended to make me happy.  Now, 25 years later I don’t think that marriage is intended to make me happy.  (Though in case my wife is reading this…I am happy…I am very very happy.  Our marriage makes me happy). I think marriage is bigger than my happiness.  I believe that it is intended to be an avenue by which I…we…get to express the heart of God to one another.  Additionally, I think marriage is a reflection of the promises of faithfulness that God makes to us. 

As a follower of Christ, I think the imagery of marriage is more about reflecting Jesus and the heart of God than it is about me getting what I want.  I think marriage is more about giving than it is receiving.

May we come to see the sweetness of God in the Matthew 19 passage and His heart for love, protection and forgiveness for people.