Coming Alive

 

Early Friday morning I woke and drove to a nearby wood to sit in a tree while looking for white tailed deer to walk unsuspectingly by.  I did not see any deer that morning, but what I did encounter was nothing short of divine. 

I arrived at 5:45 a.m. and was immediately struck by the sky.  It is not often enough that we find moments to gaze into the clear night sky that has not been infiltrated by light pollution.  It had been a long time since I had seen so many stars pin pricking the night sky. It was magnificent! I was enthralled at the creative and sovereign hand of God, as I considered how He hung each star in its place, from Orion’s belt and shield to Ursa Major on the other side and everything between them.

I quietly tiptoed to my stand where I strapped myself in, turned out my light and waited.  The darkness was exceptionally dark.  There was no moon and the stars were shielded by the trees above me.  Slowly, slowly, slowly like cold honey dripping from a spoon, the day began to crawl into the wood.  The darkness turned gray and as it did, movements began to form within the foliage.  First it was the squirrels and chipmunks, as they began to scurry among the leaves.

As the morning grew brighter, the birds began to flutter out from the underbrush and flurry among the trees.  The brightening sun opened to reveal the vibrant fall colors like millions of tiny flames licking the tips of the branches. 

The wood became incredibly alive.  As it did, I looked from one end to the other in absolute awe of God’s amazing goodness.  I found everything that my eyes touch to be exceptionally good…until…my eyes swept across my feet. 

In the middle of all of God’s amazing and creative goodness, I found the wretch that is me.  I felt my heart fall to the ground 20 feet below me.  In the middle of all of the stunning elements of God’s creation, one person sat in the middle and tainted it all.

The Spirit of God did not let me stay in that state.  Just as I felt myself sliding into the despair of my depravity, the Spirit of God brought to mind a lyric from a semi-antiquated hymn, How Deep the Father’s Love for Us.” If a song from 1995 can be considered antiquated. 

The words of the first verse drove to the core of my heart;

“How deep the Father’s love for us

How vast beyond all measure

That He should give His only Son

To make a wretch His treasure.”

I often linger far too long on my wretched being and not enough on what Jesus has made me to be.  He has made me to be His treasure! I too belong in the enrapturing depth of his creation, not because of what I have done, but all because of what he has done!

Matthew 27:55-66, reveals a window of this work of Christ.  Additionally, we find, some of the “wretched treasures” compelled out of love to care for the precious body of their Savior.

May we come to see that the Savior that we ought to treasure sees us as worth making his treasure!

I Hope This Works 

They say that necessity is the mother of all inventions.  This would suggest that I must have a great deal of need, as I am constantly finding ways to repair and rig a variety of repairs around the home.  When the microwave oven door latch broke, I took it apart and rigged a new spring connection, and as I closed the door for the first time, I said, “I hope this works.”  Thankfully…it did!

When I first began reloading my own ammunition, I took an old metal coffee can, a long bolt, some walnut shells and a power drill and created my own brass tumbler.  As I started it for the first time I said, “Here goes nothing!” Then I proceeded to pick up all of the brass that was thrown around the garage when the tumbler failed to stay together.  After a few modifications and a few more failed attempts, I found my invention to be moderately successful.

When I was forced to replace the radius adjustment arm of my 1993 Ford Ranger, I was forced to get extremely creative.  I found myself absolutely unable to remove the 1-1/8” head bold from the bottom of the control arm.  Nothing I tried was having any effect.  I broke my ratchet and two long breaker bars trying to remove the bolt.  Even my impact driver was having no effect.  In the end, I purchased a 2-foot boxed end wrench, which I held in place by jacking a bottle jack under the wrench and pinching it to the bolt and frame arm.  The weight of the truck was holding the wrench in place as it pressed the wrench atop of the jack.  It was at this time that I said, “I hope this works."...and..."Here goes nothing."...and..."This is a really bad idea!,” as I swung as hard as I could with a 12-pound sledge hammer striking the opposite end of the wrench. 

Special note: It did work, and I didn’t die, nor did I lose any appendages! 

I was astounded that it worked!

As we encounter Jesus on the cross in Matthew 27:27-56, I have found myself astounded by what God is accomplishing.  As gruesome as this even is, it is not an accident.  In fact, it is literally part of God’s plan.  As God is executing his plan there is absolutely now questioning as to whether or not it will work.  God is not sitting on his throne wringing his hands saying… “I hope this works!”…or “Here goes nothing!”

God is not surprised that his plan worked…God knows that His plan will work because God’s plan is UNSTOPPABLE!

It is quite astounding to see how Satan attempts to derail God’s plan throughout the events…but God knows…and if God knows…then that is how it is going to be.

May we come to see God’s amazing and unstoppable plan of salvation that is offered to each one of us!

 Indecision

“Isaac, would you like your pizza cut into triangles or square?”

“Squares.”

“Ok”

“Wwwaaaa! I didn’t want squares! I wanted triangles!”

Indecision is the bane of many families.  It is the single handed cause of strife between, parents and children, children and parents, husbands and wives and wives and husbands.

“Ryan, what do you want for supper?”

“I don’t care, make whatever you want!”

“I can’t live with an answer like that! I don’t want to decide!”

“Well…I don’t care”

“Fine…we are having sauerkraut salad!”

“How about spaghetti?”

The inability to make decisions is a bit of a revolving door in our home.  Whether it is truly our lack of concern for the decisions that are needing to be made or the fear of making the wrong decision, we experience more conflict over non-decisions than we do about wrong decisions.

There was one occasion where a certain member in our home drove 4 hours to buy floor tile for our bathroom remodel project only to be met with, “I don’t know…hmmm…I just don’t know if I like the color.”

Those tiles were returned.

When we installed new carpet it our basement, it took 6 months to select the color.  Once installed the first words echoed in the basement were, “I don’t know if I like it…”  Those words were quickly countered with, “You like it!”

I believe that the overwhelming cause of indecision is the fear of making the wrong decision. 

This is where we find a Roman governor named Pontius Pilate in Matthew 27:11-26.    When Pilate is faced with the decision of what to do with Jesus he is torn.  It appears that he knows that there is no reason to follow through with convicting Jesus to death.  Pilate sees no guilt in him and yet we find him at a loss as with what to do with Jesus. In the end, Pilate’s indecision, leads to the decision of handing him over to be crucified, this in truth is a decision in of itself.

This leads to the question that we all must face.  What decision will we make? What will we do with Jesus? Will we say yes to him? Will we follow him?

May we come to make the decision about what we will do with Jesus in our own lives.

Remorse

I have long held the "self-diagnosed," reputation of being an awful father.  Not that I ever intend to make child warping mistakes, but inevitably, that is what I have done…year after year.  I am, however, incredibly fortunate to have very resilient and forgiving children who have offered me the grace of God, where I have not deserved it.

I am sure many of you are reading this and thinking, “He’s just being humble. He can’t really be that bad. Surely he exaggerates.” Sadly…I am…save for the grace of God…a total putz.  Most of my inexcusable malefactors revolve around my own inability to foresee the immediate needs of my children...or…my own excessive reaction to the messes that children are prone to create. 

They say that there is no use crying over spilt milk…I wish I had believed that 20 years ago, as I have shed MANY tears of spilt milk, spilt pickles, spilt cereal, spilt soda, spilt vomit, you name it…the list is endless. 

One afternoon, Sarah and I took our children through the McDonalds drive through, where each child was allowed to put in their order.  When my son received his Super Sized Coke he was ecstatic, as he absolutely LOVES soda! In fact, just a few days ago he sent Sarah and I a birthday wish list for his upcoming 21^st birthday.  He only had ONE item on the list…a 24 pack of “beer,” of the “root variety.”  Yes…that is how he expressed it.  On that fateful Super Sized Coke day, his excitement quickly turned to remorse when we took the first turn and the huge sugar infused beverage overturned and emptied itself in its entirety on the van floor carpet.  My response was not stellar.  “WHAT WAS THAT!” I bequeathed in a panic. 

My son did not answer, though his sister was quick to offer up the cause, “Isaac spilled his pop all over the van floor!”

“How much spilt?”

“All of it!”

“Isaac, What were you doing!? Why were you not holding on to it! Good Grief! AHHHH!” My rant continued the entire 3 blocks back to the restaurant where my wife graciously went in and refilled my son’s cup.

He now had his beverage, though I was still stressed with the now immanent need to somehow clean a quart of sticky cola from the van carpet.  Certainly, it would be a challenge but the problem could be dealt with…it was over…no use crying over spilt pop right? Except…on the same corner…it happened AGAIN!!!

I kid you NOT!!!

How is a father supposed to respond? “You’ve got to be kidding me!!!”

My son cried.

“How do you NOT hold onto it after what just happened?”

My son continued to cry.

“You are not getting another one!!”

He was fortunate that his mother was also in the car. “Ryan, it’s ok…we will go back and get him another one,”

“Why? So he can dump that one on the van floor too?” I responded.

She has a great deal more parenting patience than I do. “He can help clean up the mess, he will hold onto this one. Isn’t that right Isaac?”

“Yes…he sniffled.”

We went back.  “Son, PLEASE hold onto this one…don’t set it down…don’t put it in a cup holder…HOLD it, ok?”

“Yes Dad, I’m Sorry Dad.”

Later I would apologize to my son as well, as I know full well that he did not intentionally spill his beverage. Certainly it was careless, but it was far from purposeful.  My reaction also needed changes. My son gracious accepted my apology…not only that time…but many times since. I regretted my response as much if not more than he regretted his spill.

There is a line somewhere between remorse and repentance.  We can often experience feelings of remorse or regret when we make a mistake. What we do AFTER the regret is perhaps more important than the moment of regret.

In Matthew 27:1-10, we find another man who comes to regret his choices.  Judas, finds himself overcome with remorse for his betrayal of Jesus, however, it appears that he stops short of allowing it to lead him to repentance.  Rather, in his self loathing feelings of remorse, it appears that he chooses to find his own way out of his regret as opposed to finding the forgiveness that only Jesus can offer.

May we find the Lord drawing us to repentance by his kindness for us!

 The Real World

 

On one September day about 40 years ago…

“Ryan, it’s your turn to cut the lawn and when you are done with that you should go stack some wood so that we are ready for winter.”

“But Dad,” I replied, “We already have most of the wood stacked and it’s only September!”

“We have enough wood for this winter…but the wood needs to be stacked to be ready for next winter, now get to work!”

“I can’t wait until I get to be a dad and have kids of my own, ‘cuz then I can make them do all my work like you do!”

“Ha!” my dad laughed…yes…he actually laughed, I did not see what was so funny, as I was being incredibly serious, “You wait until you are in the real world…then we’ll see how easy you think it is to be an adult.”

At the time, my perception of adulthood was a little skewed.  In the eyes of my 10 year old self, I saw adults as large demanding people who were the recipients of free slave labor from children. Now, however, as an adult, I see children as small demanding people who are the recipients of free slave labor for their parents. 

It has become quite fascinating to me that no matter what stage of life I find myself in, the perception of reality seems to be different than when I was younger.  As a child, I could only see the reality that was before me.  That reality consisted of; Mom provides the food, Dad makes you work, little siblings are annoying, and children should be able to play and do whatever they want, whenever they want.

My teenage reality consisted of; Mom provides food and clean clothes, Dad makes you do work in order to use the car and then expects you to put gas in “his” vehicle, little siblings are still annoying and teenagers should be able to live for free in their parents’ home, eat all of their food and use all of their gas, go out with friends and no longer be required to mow.

College reality…is the exact same as teenage reality.

Even as an adult I am learning that my perception of reality may not be fully accurate, especially as I consider the truth of the scriptures.  Far too often, we attempt to bring all things into our narrow view of how we think things ought to be, as opposed to how things truly are in the eyes of the Lord.  Matthew 26:57-68, reveal this principle as the religious leaders have Jesus arrested and then attempt to condemn him to crimes that he hadn’t even committed.  They do this to preserve the reality that they believe that they are living in. However, what they fail to miss is that there is a bigger and even more real-reality in the spiritual realm of God.  The unseen reality of God, existed before our worldly reality today…so which one is more real?

While to the “real world” it appears that Jesus is about to lose, the unseen reality is, that God is about to attain the ultimate victory!

May we come to see the true things of God…the unseen and eternal things of God…the victory that only Jesus brings.

 Betrayed

Our 14 year old Pomeranian is officially toothless, having lost his final canine earlier this week.  Despite what you may think, we have not converted to feeding him soft foods…unless you count his lapping up of his own vomit…that too happened this past week. 

He, (Coda), and I have been through a great deal together.  This small 10 pound pup and I have never seen eye to eye…even when I pick him up and attempt to stare directly into his face, he will always divert his eyes from me. 

It is obvious that he holds something against me…and after this week’s vomit…I have all the more reason to hold things again him. 

I have literally saved this dog’s life twice.  On two separate occasions he was attacked by a fellow pooch 12 times larger or more than he.  On both occasions I snatched the inferior pup out of harm,s way, placing myself between he and his attacker.  On one of the occasions, I was mauled by the large beast of a dog until his mortified owner hauled him away, apologetically in tears. 

Despite my self-sacrifice, this ungrateful mutt has betrayed me with affections toward all others but myself.  When my dad comes over for a visit, Coda will happily jump on his lap and bask in the kind petting of my dad.  Coda will gladly submit under the touch of my children and my wife.  But he will have nothing to do with me.  I dare to suggest, if anyone of you reading this were to come over to our house, you will indeed be greeted more warmly by this black and white toothless hound than would I.

I feel betrayed.  I have bought him food, bathed him, walked him, saved him and he has betrayed me with affection only toward others. 

I know that he is only a dog and his betrayal is insignificant, yet it paints a lighthearted picture of a much more severe event found in Matthew 26:47-56.  Here Jesus is about to give everything…literally…to all who will receive it, including Judas, and yet Judas will turn his back on Jesus and betray him.

Yet, Jesus’ response in the moment of his betrayal is what stands out the strongest to me.  While it appears that Jesus is losing, he is about to enter into the greatest victory story the world has ever known.

Even in Judas’ betrayal, we see the love of Jesus being expressed. What amazing grace, amazing love and what an amazing God we serve.

May we come to see that Jesus offers a grace that no one else can or has ever offered.  He along can save us.

 He Can Relate

There are a lot of things in life that I just cannot relate to.  I cannot relate to what it feels like to be an Olympic Champion…in fact, I cannot relate to what it feels like to be an Olympic athlete.  This doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t have enjoyed knowing what that felt like.  I have not experienced childbirth…this however, DOES mean that I NEVER want to know what that feels like.

I cannot tell you what it is like to be a millionaire, nor can I tell you what it is like to skydive or bungee jump.  I cannot relate to anyone who has hit a “hole in one,” or gone on cruise.  I have never hunted Elk or Moose or Alligators or Hamsters.  I have never been to Paris, New York, San Francisco or Canada.  I have never fished for Salmon or sailed on the Ocean or panned for gold.

I do however; know what it is like to send a child off to college. I will be launching my third child just two days from now.  I know what it is like to stay up late rocking a sleepless crying child.  I know what it is like to clean up vomit off of the floor and excrement from a crib.  I know what it is like to have vehicles break on the side of the road, strike deer with a car and to be bitten by a squirrel.  I can relate to the grief of sending a child out of state to begin their career and the grief of losing a close relative and a close friend.

I know what it is like to burn the supper and then eat the same said supper.  I know what it is like to fall from a tree stand, to break bones, to have my body ache and to experience stress, anxiety and fear.

I often find it easy to overlook the struggles that others may also be dealing with, suffering in, and struggling through.  The more I learn about Jesus from the Gospels the more convinced I become that despite being “fully God,” he knows exactly what it is like to be “fully human.”

I think we find one of the most revealing moments of this in Jesus’ life when we encounter his time in the Garden of Gethsemane. 

It is the night that Jesus will be betrayed and arrested and we see his full humanity, his full anxiety, his full struggle with what is about to come.

Out of the several amazing truths in this passage, Matthew 26:36-46, I am exceptionally enamored with the reality that Jesus can fully relate to all of the struggles that we face as humans.

May we come to see that Jesus knows what we are going through…no matter what we are facing. May we also, seek to respond in the manner that Jesus responds…on our face crying out to our maker.