Saturday, March 16, 2024

 Regret

 


My life is filled with regret.  I can’t help it. It seems, every day of my life leads to more regretful moments.  Regret is like that unwelcomed and uninvited uncle who always shows up to Easter dinner, even when great pains are taken to keep the hosting venue a secret. 

“Grandma, can you please pass the ham?”

“Egad! What do you think you’re doing!? Keep your voice down! Uncle Anson will hear you!”

“How in the world is that even possible? He doesn’t know where we are and the last we heard from him he was in the Himalayan Mountains of southern Chile.”

“The Himalayans are in Asia…not Chile.”

“That makes it all the more impossible for him to have heard.”

Ding Dong.

“Hey all! Happy Easter!”

“Well! Would you look who’s here!? It’s Uncle Anson!...How did you find us…I mean…I hope you got the Easter invite this year…we left it under that big rock behind the barn, under the old rusted tractor.”

“I must have missed it! But no worries, here I am! You all have no idea how difficult it has been to find you…but I did!  Who would have thought that a destination Easter dinner in the bowels of Alcatraz was in the cards for this year! Could I get me some of those mashed potatoes?”

Regret…kind of makes you wish you hadn’t asked for the ham…despite Grandma’s reputation for delectable hams.

Like the inevitable arrival of the unwanted guest are the perpetual visits of regret.  Regret appears everywhere.  It is there when we miss our highway exit and find that we have just added 2 hours onto our already 12 hour road trip. It is opening the jar of peanuts believing that you can have just one serving, only to find that the jar is empty in your hands just 33 minute later.  It is telling yourself that you have enough gas to make it to the next gas station, knowing full well that you are pushing it pretty thin, only to run out 5 miles before the fueling station…without an empty gas can to even carry any fuel back to the stranded vehicle. 

Regret often runs deep…much deeper…as well.  Regret follows the allowance of irresponsible words which spill from between the lips and wilt the recipient with a crushing blow.  It is the unjustified burst of anger that conflicts with a testimony of grace, of which a believer is called to reflect.  Regret comes to visit when a poor action results in loss…the loss of life, freedom, affection or more. 

My life is cluttered with regret, like a long forgotten storage room in the unfinished basement of my soul. The space is filled with old dusty mistakes that lie dormant in the corner waiting to be remembered and suffered over from time to time.  As life goes on, the regretful basement of my soul continues to collect junk.  My sin is the greatest contributor to the junk of regret filling the cellar.

Unless something is done, the soul…my soul…will soon be overrun with the burdensome regrets of grieving mistakes and unattended sin.  Jesus not ONLY offers forgiveness of my sins…but he also offers a path of healing through the mourning of my sin.  Matthew 5:4 reveals that “Blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted.”  Jesus certainly offers comfort from our grief, but I am learning that in the case of this passage, Jesus is drawing his followers into a deeper mourning.  He is drawing us into a grief…a mourning…over our sin.  Not only do followers of Christ need to be aware of their spiritual bankruptcy (as found in Matthew 5:3), but we are also told to mourn over the sin that has left us there.

It is one thing to sin and hide it in the basement and it is quite another to mourn over our sin.  When we learn to grieve over our sin in such a way as to mourn over it, I am convinced that we find Jesus not only forgiving us of our sin, but also de-cluttering the overrun basement of our souls.

May we come to grieve and to mourn our sin, so that we will be comforted by Jesus Himself.  May the comforts of Jesus lift up our weary souls. 

Saturday, March 9, 2024

 The Majestic


I recall one evening when Sarah and I were still without children.  We would have thought that we were living a busy lifestyle at this time, but until we decided to parent 4 kids, we really had no idea what a busy lifestyle really looked like.  Yet, somehow a telemarketer had tricked me into using the ONE…“free”…evening that my wife and I been able to find for the entire month. 

“What do you want to do tonight” I asked Sarah.

“It doesn’t matter…I am just glad that we don’t have anything to do…period!!” She sighed in response to my question.

DING DONG

“Who is at the door?” she bequeathed.

“I have no idea.”

I answered the door to find a young man and a young woman standing at our door with a clipboard and a rather large chrome cylinder resembling that of a silver R2D2.

“Hello Mr. Olson, we would like to thank you for having us.  If you will just step aside and allow us to enter your home I think that you will find your time with us to be very worthwhile.”

I stepped aside and said nothing.  I was stunned and struck dumb.

Finally, I stammered, “Excuse me…what? Who did you say you were?”

“My name is Heather and this is Michael, we represent the Majestic Cleaning Company, we carry the world’s foremost cleaning and filtering products.  We sure appreciate you agreeing to have us into your home and give you a demonstration of these fabulous appliances that can revolutionize your home.”

“I don’t remember to agreeing to anyth…”

“Sure you did.  If you remember the phone call you received on November 14,…we have it recorded so there will be NO arguing…there was a brief moment when you said yes…and we took full advantage of “that”…to take advantage of “you” and your free evening.  Now if you would just kindly get out of our way…go ahead and sit down and shut your trap while we give you this remarkable demonstration.”

I did as I was told, trying to avoid the shocked and glaring looks of my beautiful young wife.

“What did you agree to!?” Sarah tersely whispered to me as we sat down next to each other on our used sofa.

“Nothing…I mean…I don’t know!”

“This was our ONE night!...ONE night!”

“I know…maybe we will still have time to enjoy something once they leave?”

After 3 hours of demonstrating how great their product was and…how filthy our home was, the sales representative, Heather, asked how much I would expect to pay for this fine tool of the future.

“Are you asking how much I am willing to pay or how much I expect it to cost? Because I MIGHT consider paying up to $60, but I am guessing that it will cost more like $260.”

“So, you are willing to pay $60”

“NO! I am willing to ‘consider’ paying $60”

“Well…would you consider paying $60 per month for three and a half years?”

I did the quick math. “Wait…are you saying this costs $2500!!!???’

“Technically, $2600.”

“No way!”

“But you saw all that it can do! Don’t you want a clean home?”

“Not for $2600!”

“But…”

This was my turn to interrupt. “You don’t understand. We really don’t buy anything.  In fact, if you look around this home most of all that you see has been given to us. We didn’t purchase most of what you wee.  That recliner that you are sitting in?…given to us.  This sofa? Given.  The end tables, coffee table and dining room table? All given to us.  The refrigerator, the microwave, the oven…given.  Our washer and dryer down stairs…given.  The TV and VCR (yes…I did just date myself)…given.  That china hutch…given.  I even built our bed with wood that was given to us.”

“What about your car?” He asked is a mildly snarky tone.

“GIVEN TO US!!!” I proclaimed in triumph!

“Heather, you must understand” I continued, “Pretty much all that you see around you is nothing that I have gathered and accumulated for myself.  Rather it is all representative of the provisions that the Lord has provided.” 

Heather and Michael left a short time later after packing up all of their demonstrative items.  As they left through our front door…they GAVE us a fake Christmas tree for our time.

I remember that story well, but I never made the connection until now,  of how this symbolized the Lord’s righteousness in my life.  Every good thing in my life has come from the hand of God.  The ONLY righteousness that can be found in my life is what falls under the cloak of Christ’s righteousness, which covers me.  The home of my heart is filled with righteous furnishings that have ALL been given to me by Jesus.  If it were up to me, my “home,” would be found void and empty and broken.  He however, covers me in His righteousness.  Without Jesus, I am spiritually bankrupt.

I think this is at the heart of Jesus’ teachings specifically the Sermon on the Mount and the Beatitudes found in Matthew 5:1-12.  Those who want to inherit the Kingdom of God, must first find themselves…spiritually bankrupt.

Saturday, February 17, 2024

 Walking Alone


Yesterday, my son Isaac and I engaged in a brief excursion to spend 24 hours with my dad ice fishing.  On our trip northward, my truck began to act up.  Truth be told…that is not a true statement.  The truth would be that the truck had been acting up for about a two and a half years and I have continued to ignore the problem.  The acting up in this particular moment, actually refers to a transition from “acting up” to… “Houston, we have a problem.”  It appears that the growing moaning of the 4.3L V6 over the past 700+ days has developed into an alternator which is now refusing to charge the battery.  I watched as the voltmeter bounced erratically from right to left.  One moment the system was charging and the next moment the blinking red light on the dash told me that I should be ready to walk the rest of the way to the cabin.  I spent the next 45 minutes watching and hoping and praying that I would not have to walk in the bitter and blustery cold February afternoon. Praise be to God…we made it!

I cannot count the number of times that I have found myself stranded on the side of the road and having to walk alone down the highway looking for some way to find help. I have run out of gas. I have had flat tires…without a spare…or a flat spare…or a tire that was rusted to the hub and could not be removed to use the spare…or two flat tires simultaneously.  I have also found myself in snowy ditches, and with stalled engines.  Each of these moments has required me to extract myself from the comforts of the cockpit and put my feet to the pavement and walk…alone.

I am please to say…that I am still here.  In every one of those occasions, in one way or another, help arrived.  It did not always appear in a way that I had expected, yet I found that even after a few miles left behind, I found myself in the presence of a helper.

It seems that perhaps…I was never really walking alone after all.

Matthew 4:23-25, reveals Jesus walking.  He is walking all throughout Galilee and beyond.  He is not alone, as to the fact that many people…including his disciples…are following him.  But more so, I think I see that Jesus is walking with the purpose of being WITH the people.  He is walking WITH them.  I find myself asking the question, why?  Is it just to reveal his power as he heals and performs miracles?  Certainly that is entirely true.  I am convinced that there is more still.  I am convinced that Jesus CARES!! He walks with the people, because he cares for them. He cares about their struggle, their diseases and their affliction.  He also cares about yours.

May you come to know that no matter where you are walking, whether hardships or joys, you are not walking alone…because Jesus cares!!

Saturday, February 10, 2024

 Tethered


I used to be an energetic, adventurous father, who would regularly take my young children out of town  to shop, in order to give their dear mother a break from the unending demands of mothering. These outings had a reputation of going about as smoothly as expired cottage cheese forgotten in the back of an unplugged refrigerator, only to be discovered accidentally after a stench, not dissimilar to that of a rotting dairy cow, as it permeates its way through the entire shelter that is your home.

It is incredibly challenging to shepherd 3-4 children 6 years old and younger from one store to another.  The hazards of parking lots, moving cars, busy streets and rabid squirrels can add chaos to any and all attempts to keep the children safe and within arm’s reach. 

I had created circumstantial rules, which were to be implemented upon the arrival, and were dependent upon specific situations.  For example, if I were to take the children into a store that had many fragile items placed in the accessible regions of curious fingers, the children were required to keep their hands placed within the confines of their own pockets during the duration of the visit. If they did not obey and removed their hands from their pockets, the privilege of ice cream was removed from their immediate future. 

As another example, if we were crossing the street, the children were required to hold my hands so that I could ensure their safety.  On more than one occasion, one of my children would trip because their little legs could not keep up with my giant frame, or so they now claim. When a stumble would occur, I would snatch them up and swing them in the air and run, allowing their small bodies to flap in the wind until we had finished crossing. “Daddy! Your tight grip hurt my hand!”

“Well…my tight grip also saved you from skinning your knee on the road, slamming your face on the pavement and getting smashed by that semi-truck!”

On one such occasion, I took my 3 oldest children, who were 6, 5 and 3 at the time, shopping in the nearby town of Brainerd.  We had one primary stop to make…Menards.  Since our 4th child had recently been born, we knew that the need to finish the basement and add another usable bedroom was just on the horizon and thus it was time to pick up some of the supplies.  I along with 3 of my children, pulled into the nearest parking space we could find, and I gave my offspring the instructions.

“Ok…Here’s the deal.  We are going to stay together as we cross the busy parking lot…Isaac and Carissa will each hold one of my hands and Hannah, since you are the oldest and I only have two hands, I will need you to hold onto my pocket as we walk to the store.  Now…all three of you…be sure that you hold on and don’t let go.”

“Ok Daddy!”

“Ok Daddy!”

“What pocket should I hold Daddy? You have so many pockets on your shorts…I don’t know which pocket I should hold.”

I should have known that my over thinking oldest daughter would find a way to complicate things.

“Any pocket will be fine.”

“I think I will hold your back pocket.  Is that ok Daddy?”

“That will be just fine Hannah.”

We all crawled out of the mini-van and took our positions.  My left hand grasped Isaac’s right hand and my right held Carissa’s left, while Hannah secured herself to my back pocket.  We began to shuffle to the store front.  As we approached the curb, I swung both of the younger children up to the sidewalk ahead of me and just as I stepped up myself, it happened.  I felt a sudden tug on my shorts and heard a “rip.” Hannah had tripped on the edge of the curb and fallen to her knees and elbows, she was, however, still holding onto the fabric of my pocket.  It was at this time, that I began to feel the extended draft from the early morning, late spring air. 

“Oh, Sorry Daddy! I tripped.  I had my eyes closed because I was so scared and didn’t want to look at the moving cars and then I tripped on the curb.  It’s ok though…my knees and elbows are bleeding, but I didn’t let go of your pocket daddy!”

I reached back and realized that the entire backside of my cargo shorts had torn away. 

“Ok, kids…change of plans…we are going to Target.”

“Do you still want me to hold your pocket Daddy?”

“No…I want you to hold me at the waist from behind and stay VERY close.”

Imagine now, the repeat of instructions and walking into Target, only to have Isaac see a penny on the sidewalk…suddenly let go of my hand and run after the penny and smash his face into a nearby stone pillar...now what…band-aids or new shorts first?

It struck me at this time why I have seen some parents walk around with their children on what appear to be dog leashes.  What previously had seemed odd and unnecessary…now made perfect sense. 

Yet, I don’t see Jesus acting in the same manner when he calls his followers to “follow” him.  Jesus doesn’t throw a tether onto a proverbial collar of his disciples and drag them along like a disobedient puppy.  Rather, he beckons, “Follow me.” Here we find a key to the response of following Jesus.  In Matthew 4:18-22, we find that upon Jesus’ request to “Follow Me,” the brothers fishing in the Sea of Galilee leave their nets and their boats and follow Jesus.  They, in fact, remove the proverbial “tether” that holds them to their past and they freely follow Jesus.

May we come to release the tethers that hold us back and respond to Jesus’ invitation to follow Him.

Saturday, February 3, 2024

Ole on the Outskirts


It was just this past week, when I said to my wife and youngest daughter, “I wish that I could go back to Elementary School.”

“Egad! Why would you say that?” my wife asked.

“Really?” my daughter questioned.

“Yeah! Life was so much simpler then.  I mean, I didn’t have to consider what I was supposed to do next, or where I was supposed to be.  I had teachers to tell me what I was supposed to be doing and where I was to be going.  Not to mention, Reagan was president so politically the whole world was happy…except perhaps Gorbachev…and anyone else who didn’t care for the jelly bean loving former actor…I was only 4-12 years old at the time so politics didn’t tend to worry me anyway.  My biggest worry was wondering what my mother packed in my lunch.”

“Really!? That was your biggest worry?”

“Yeah, I think so.  I mean, I miss recess.  I used to go out and play tag, and we would run races, and we would play king of the hill on the giant snow banks.  Sometimes we would play hide and seek…and there were even a couple of games that I was so known for that they actually named the games after me.”

“Seriously Dad!?...what were they?”

“There were two of them. The first one was called ‘Run away from Ryan’ and the other was called, ‘Ole on the Outskirts.’ Run away from Ryan was always a hoot.  Kids would usually grab something of mine, like my lunch box or my hat or something…and then they would run away from me and I would have to chase after them and try and get it back.  Just as I was about to catch them they would usually throw it to someone else and it would start all over again.  The game usually ended when either the school bell would ring and one of the kids would throw my hat on the roof, or I would pass out from exhaustion and wake up to Mrs. Tucker asking why I had not returned to class.  The other game, Ole on the Outskirts, would occur unexpectedly as group of 4 or more boys would suddenly encircle me and push me from one side of the circle to the other.  The goal was to escape from the surrounding circle of boys.  It took great skill to overcome their hulking mass.  I found that I could often win this game by playing the part of an opossum…or grab my nose and say I’m bleeding…of which sometimes it was true.  Oh, it was such fun…good times…good times.”

“Umm…Dad?...those games are usually played by bullies who pick on marginalized kids.”

“Huh!?...Whatever...I wonder what those games are called now?”

It’s no secret that the world is filled with marginalized people, and whether you like it or not, a vast array of classifications.  Sadly, this has been the case for thousands of years.  In fact, we see the classes and the marginalized throughout the Scriptures.  I am incredibly astounded by not only Jesus’ teachings but also his actions when it comes to speaking the truth and loving people.  We often separate these two, but I am convinced that they always belong together.  Paul reveals this in Ephesians 4:15. 

Matthew 4:12-17, begins to reveal in a subtle way the heart that Jesus has for the marginalized.  Jesus goes from Nazareth to Capernaum in Galilee.  The place that would make the “most” sense for the Messiah to go and minister would be Jerusalem…in the heart of Judea…to engage with the religious leaders at the Temple.  Yet, that is not what Jesus does.  He goes to a region that is viewed as lesser class…a Gentile region…a depraved region filled with dock workers and fisherman.  Jesus goes to what is considered an area of sub-level humans.

Why does Jesus do this? Because God loves us and Jesus is for ALL the WORLD!

May we come to see that Jesus makes the Gospel available for ALL the WORLD…including the marginalized.  Whether you are being shoved around in a circle or chasing after your lunchbox…whether you have had a life of ease or a life filled with suffering…Jesus is inviting you to put your trust in Him and Him alone.

Are you marginalized?  You need Jesus and Jesus wants you.  Is someone marginalized in your life? They need Jesus and Jesus wants them. 

All of Jesus for All the World!

Saturday, January 27, 2024

Gummy Bears


Once upon a summer one of our neighbors asked if we…our kids…would like some gummy bears.  My wife and I agreed to “allow” our children to have some gummy bears, knowing in truth it was our own watering mouths that we were looking to satisfy.  Little did we know at the time, that we were about to receive somewhere in the vicinity of 10-20 lbs. of gummy candies.  We received a large bag of gummy bears, sour gummy bears, gummy worms, and those round life saver looking peach gummy candies…(we had a friend come by who ate most of those). 

As most sane people realize, gummy bears, and the like, are nearly impossible to stop consuming, once the initial bear has been eaten.  We as a family did manage to use these bears as “leverage” of influence for our children.  “Ok kids…you can have gummy bears, once you have finished cleaning up supper.” 

At this point my children would eagerly rush to clean up supper and tidy the house while my wife and I would sit and eat gummy bears as we watched the kids work.  It’s not what you think…we wouldn’t just eat them in front of them, that would be mean…we would sneak them into our pockets and when they would leave the room to take out the recycling or had their head in the dishwasher we would quick eat them…ok maybe it is what you were thinking. 

In any case, the gummy bears were used effectively for much motivation.  In fact, there was one specific day when three of our four children had friends over for a sleep over, and when it came time for the friends to be taken home, it was only natural that our children wanted to ride along with their friends.  The challenge came when each of our children desperately wanted to sit next to his or her own friend.  Our minivan (I know a minivan…it sounds like I’m bragging right…just as much as if I had said Datsun), can hold 6 passengers in the back, two rows of three.  So inevitably, there was going to be one of my children NOT sitting by one of their friends.  As we were loading the van I braced myself for the ensuing conflict of which my children did not disappoint.  “I want to sit by my friend!”, “Not fair!”, “I was there first.”  I pulled out the trump card… “Whoever is willing to allow the other persons to sit by their friend and not sit by your own friend will get gummy bears.”  I was immediately ashamed of what I encountered.  I watched my three children turn their backs on their all important friendships, leaving their friends high and dry as they raced for a seat away from their friend…all for the sake of gummy bears.  Gummy bears are good…but are they really that good?

The temptation of sin is like the lure of sugar.  It tastes sweet but it leaves us hungry.  Often we think that if we can just have more, we will find satisfaction, and yet…still hungry.  I can tell you first hand; that 100 gummy bears will not satisfy your hunger…it’ll give you a gut ache and leave you regretting you had ever eaten that first one let alone 100.  On the contrary, what is more satisfying than sitting down to a nice meal of meat and potatoes…unless you are vegetarian, then just potatoes.  The Psalmist David gives us perspective in Psalm 34:8, “Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.” 

This leads me to consider when Jesus was in the wilderness being tempted by the Devil, (Matt. 4:1-11).  It is an absolutely astounding event.  Jesus has been fasting for 40 days and he is hungry, tired, weak and alone and in this difficult time when Satan attacks.  The enemy attacks Jesus with powerful temptations, which are not unlike the lure of sugar.  We all long to have things “our way, right away,” and I am convinced that is where Satan hits us first.  He attacks in the longing for immediate gratification of our desires.  Jesus is willing to set aside the temporary gratification for the eternal satisfaction.

When we are faced with the relentless temptations that our lives throw before us, may we be reminded of where the true goodness and true satisfaction come from, and may we take refuge in Him and be satisfied completely in Him.

Saturday, January 20, 2024

 Behold!


It took me a long time to win the heart of the wife of my youth.  This is to no fault of hers…rather it is mine.  I remember the first time I laid eyes on her.  She had eyes of the May sky and hair like autumn wheat. When she smiled, the darkness in the room would flee and everything could be seen for what it was…including my gaping mouth and possible drool puddling in my lap. 

My first sight was while riding on a bus in college to Valleyfair in Minnesota.  She was sitting across the aisle from me and one row ahead.  My friend Geoff and I were heading up the welcoming committee for all of the new students coming into Crown College that year, and she was one of them. 

From that point on, my life existed for the sole purpose of impressing her, so I did the only thing I could do to impresser her at the time.  I began to wrestle with my friend Geoff.  It was only reasonable that as a competitive high school wrestler, that this act of machismo would be the most impressive act I could perform to reveal my value and woo this young, freshman girl.  So…Geoff and I wrestled…attacking each other, both over and under the seats.  We jumped across the aisle and back.  We were loud…obnoxious…and sweaty.  In the midst of our wrestling, I kept glancing her way out of the corner of my eye to judge her reaction and upon seeing her smiling and laughing I knew that it must be working. 

Unfortunately, five months later when I finally worked up enough courage to ask her out…she turned me down…hard. Apparently, she was not a wrestling fan. 

Fast forward, 19 months and numerous rejections later, we were walking through a local park hand in hand one evening.  At this time I asked her, “What are you thinking.”  I still remember her glorious response…

She said… “I like this.”

BEHOLD! She likes me!!!

Tim Keller writes the following in his book, Jesus is King: “Think of this, if you find somebody you adore, someone for whom you would do anything and you discover that this person feels the same about you, does that feel good? It’s sublime! That is what God has been enjoying for all eternity…the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.”

This is the beautiful picture of relationship that we see revealed in Matthew 3:13-17. I am convinced that, not only is God revealing to us His perfect relationship with Himself…but also…is inviting us into that restored relationship with him. 

It is no wonder then...why God sent his Son…because He so loved the world.