Unfriended
I recently came to a realization and honestly, I am not sure how I feel about it. I just became aware that I have absolutely ZERO Facebook friends. This revelation made me sad. I believe that most people have at least one Facebook friend, but here I am…with none. I brought this problem to the attention of my wife.
“Sarah, I don’t have any Facebook friends.”
“I know that.” She said.
“I feel sad about this.”
“Look at the bright side…since you do not have any Facebook friends, you don’t have to worry about ever being ‘unfriended.”
“Well, don’t you feel bad for me and stuff?”
“I feel bad for you that you are concerned that you don’t have any Facebook friends.”
“Why is that?”
“Because you don’t HAVE a Facebook account.”
It is possible that part of that conversation is imaginary, yet something within me is indeed wrestling with this reality of friendship. I remember my first experience of being “unfriended.”
The event took place in my 1st grade classroom and it preceded both Facebook and Mark Zuckerberg. One morning Johnny approached me and asked if I would be his friend. I saw no problem with this so I readily agreed.
“Sure Johnny.”
“Great! Now that we are friends, you can’t be friends with Eric anymore.”
“Huh?! Why not?”
“Because…that’s the way it is. If you want to be friends, then you can’t be friends with Eric.”
I must admit, that even in 1st grade this seemed very Jr. High, though it would be several years before I would come to realize the irony.
After being given no other rationale to the preposterous protocol, I went about my day, only to find Johnny had passed me a note via the hands of Lucinda. I read the note which pronounced that I had just been unfriended by Johnny for violating rule 103b sub paragraph 3.4 stating that “Frienship with Johnny shall terminate where-in a friendly conversation is ensued toward or in relationship with Eric.”
“Huh,” I thought, and came to realize that my half day friendship with Johnny had ended before it ever really got started.
As I reflect on this past event, it is obvious that the invitation was anything but genuine. To this day I still have no concept as to what motivated the brief, but fake friendship. But I do know this; Johnny was never interested in really being friends. It is clear that there were ulterior motives lurking among the invitation for friendship.
Likewise, our thoughts, words and actions as a follower of Christ can appear genuine on the outside, but may be far too often laced with selfish motivations. Perhaps where these expressions generate from is the real indicator to our beliefs…after all, Jesus himself said, out of the heart the mouth speaks.
Matthew 10:1-42, is an extensive passage, where Jesus gives instruction and reveals expectations to the 12 disciples as he sends them out. I am struck by the concluding moment, where Jesus invites them to offer up a “cup of cold water” to the least of ones they may meet.
Is it really about the water? I don’t think so. I think it is about the heart behind the water.
May the testimony of a cup of cold water reveal the Christ who has changed our hearts that offer it.
