Good Gifts

My son wanted a new car, but then again…don’t we all? I grew up watching the Price is Right and the “New Car” was the pinnacle of prizes to be awarded throughout the episodes and were a staple of showcase showdowns.  As Isaac’s High School graduation approached he continued to drop hints that he was hoping for a new car as a gift for his graduation, hints that included; “What are you guys going to get me for graduation?  A new car?”, or “Will you be buying me a new car for graduation?”

Some of the hints were even less subtle, “If you are looking for a vehicle for me for my graduation, I would prefer a truck…red or black…or blue is ok too.”

I clearly rebutted each hint with such demonstrative statements as: “No,” or “Dream on,” or “Buy yourself a car.”

Two realities remained. 

1.      We still needed to find him a graduation gift.

2.      His car is on the brink of catastrophic fail.

Therefore killing two birds with one stone we went ahead and gifted our son what he needed for graduation…a mechanics tool set to keep the limping vehicle moving forward…and occasionally other directions as needed. 

As I set the wrapped gift upon his lap after his graduation party he stated, “This doesn’t feel like a set of car keys…maybe it is a clever disguise?”

However, upon opening the package and realizing that his gift was not in fact a new car but rather a high quality tool set to keep his vehicle running, he shared a genuine thank you and continued opening gifts and cards from other generous gifters.

Rather than receiving a new car for my own high school graduation I too received high quality automotive tools when I turned 18.  I still use those tools today and they have served me well to keep all of my vehicles of questionable reliability rolling. 

Over the past 4 weeks, our son, who is off at college now, has had to implement the use of this tool set on a regular basis initiating multiple repairs on the wearing automobile. 

We can all relate to this.  We find ourselves with our eye on what we desire and sometimes not realizing what it is that we really need.  We convince ourselves that if we could just have this, that or the other thing, that our lives would be fulfilled and we could live contentedly.  Sometimes it is true…until the next object of our desire comes along and we once again default to yearning.  I for one am a repeat offender.  Yet as I have looked at the Sermon on the Mount I have found Jesus offering us all that we need…all we have to do is ask.  I believe this to be true, but often times what I see as good gifts are not what God sees as good gifts.  I must be honest; the goodness of God has always overshadowed the menial things that I thought were good.  God is a good father…who knows how to give good gifts.  We can trust him to give us what we need.  What more evidence do we need than that of the Good Giver giving to us His Holy Spirit.  He may not always give me what I want…but I can be confident that he will always give me that which I need.

May we find the Good Father who is giving good gifts.

Logs, Hogs and Dogs

Earlier this summer our family went up to my parent’s cabin in the Park Rapids area.  The cabin sits on a lovely, level lot on a pristine lake that is rich with fish, towering pines, loons, eagles and mosquitoes.  In addition to the fearsome mosquitoes…and deer flies…and horse flies…there is a nemesis that lurks on the surface of the waters looking for a newly manicured lawn to invade.  All around the lake, land owners have implemented an infinite number of varied tactics to rid themselves of the fowl devils.  Yet, somehow these long throated Canadian demons of defecation, leave their disgusting green, black and white scat all over the lakeside lawns.

My parents do an exceptional job of keeping the lawn and beach clear of the excrement expelling enemies.  They have applied various efforts that have been moderately effective in keeping the unwanted animals from their shores, and when a few shrewd bird have somehow found their way through the gauntlet and left gifts of goose guano, my name sakes are quick to remove it from that land.

On this particular visit, our 10 year old Pomeranian was too quick for everyone and before the doo-doo could be dealt with, he decided to find it and roll in it…and roll in it…and roll in it some more.

“Ugh! You foolish pooch! What are…what…egads! Why!?”

Needless to say, this was an unfortunate moment of the weekend…and our lives.  Yet, we were committed to resiliently press on to a good time, which was only possible since my wife was willing to wash the dog in the lake.  All was grand…until, our less than learned puppy become a repeat offender.

What can you do but shake your head, drop your jaw and wish that you did not have a dog.  This reminded me of when I was a child.  We always had dogs out on our small pretend hobby farm and these dogs were just as foolish.  The indescribable nasty things that they would get into was incredible! It was not uncommon to find cow bones with rotting flesh or dead wood chucks drug home from nearby farms.  The dogs would often return, soggy and stinky after a day of wallowing in the swamp or even on several cases with snouts filled with porcupine quills after getting too close to resentful rodents.

The pigs that we raised were no better.  I remember taking a hose to the pigs to wash them off.  They seemed to like the spray of water but as soon as you turned the hose off they would drop back to the ground and roll in the mud.  The pigs were always covered in thick layers of wet and dry mud.

These animals loved the filth.  I think that if we are willing to take a broader look at what Jesus says in Matthew 7:1-6.  Jesus is wanting to pull us out of.  He does not want us to wallow in a life of filth and mud and fecal matter.  He is asking us to self reflect…to see our sin...and allow him to remove the plank in our eye that is blinding us from the life that He wants us to live in Him.

May we come to allow the transformational work to be done in us that Jesus wants done in us.  May our lack of capacity for change be filled with His capacity that is given freely to us. 

 

 The Steering Wheel

For years now I have made it a priority to get on my bicycle and ride.  I do this for my cardio health, mental health and physical health.  My wife is incredibly supportive to this initiative, though there were a few years that for the sake of our marriage adjustments had to be made.  After several less than stellar moments on my part I learned that a mother of 4 young children does not enjoy being left to herself and these loving but exasperating children for an hour or more while her ignorant husband grinds gravel on a vintage 1994 mountain bike. 

To bless my wife, stay active, save our marriage and earn my supper, I procured a pull behind trailer in which I could haul half of our children behind me on the country tours of Morrison County.  The child hauler was a God send.  Over the years I used this bicycle trailer to sooth crying children to sleep, provide my wife a respite from fighting children and loaded the laps of my passengers with unexpected groceries from our quick stop at Coborns for just one quick item. 

One of the favorite features of the bicycle trailer was the cross bar steering wheel.  Once the children were buckled safely into their seat, I would secure the cross bar, with dual steering wheels, in front of their eager faces and hands.  As I cruised the streets and side roads of Little Falls, my children would pretend to drive and steer and direct our path.  Obviously they had absolutely no control as to where we were going and yet either in their imagination or convoluted understanding, they steered away as if everything they did was paramount. 

I am given pause with this scenario, in the context of worry and the sovereignty of God. (Note: this is not an illustration on the lack of freewill…so don’t take it there…that is not what I mean). I think that I have traversed much of my life independently, though I have invited God to join me at times.  In the midst of the journey, I have offered Jesus to “take the wheel” when I have found the drive of life to be too difficult, stressful, overwhelming or hectic.  What I have only come to realize, is that I have never really had a steering wheel to offer, and if I did, it was only an imaginary wheel in the trailer of God’s story.  He is the one who has always been in control and navigating, while all of my steering has been mere narcissistic imagination.

It is by His invitation that I am even on this journey.  It is not my invitation to him, but rather his invitation to me.  It is by his power and his direction.  When I drive, I am anxious.  When I realize that my steering is imaginary, I find that I am more at peace.  I can’t control where we are going anyway…so I might as well enjoy the ride.

I think this is what Jesus is driving at in Matthew 6:25-34.  Jesus wants us to know that we don’t need to worry.  He is in control.  He has always been in control. 

May we come to enjoy the ride with Him.

 The Treasure

On a bright and sunny September morning, I took my three and a half –year-old son out for his first ever fishing trip.  I had intentionally prioritized this moment with his older sister the year before and now that his sister was sequestered into the halls of the higher educational realms of kindergarten, it was his turn.  We loaded the boat with snacks, bottles of root beer, life jackets and a Superman fishing pole. 

Along the way, we stopped at Kamps Korner in Swanville, MN to buy some bait and fuel for the excursion.  Once I had paid for our gas and minnows, I drug him away from the minnow tanks, insisting the he let go of the minnows in his hands.  He hesitated to leave the ichthyologic region of the bait shop until I promised him that he could play with the minnows that we had just purchased.  He eagerly agreed, and we pulled into the lake access a few minutes later.

After securing his life vest and launching the boat, I fired up the 1956 7.5 hp Evinrude motor and we put forth toward the not so secret black crappy location on the small lake.  Upon arriving at the small sunken island in the middle of the lake, I dropped the anchor and we set up to fish.  I took the cheap spincast Superman rod and set it up with a small slip-bobber, a hook and a minnow.  I made the mistake of showing Isaac how to cast, because despite my instruction of letting the bobber sit in the water until it is pulled under, he continued to cast and reel, cast and reel, cast and reel…never allowing the bobber to even sit remotely still. 

In a moment of surprise, I found that beyond my apathetic expectations, a short while later, the boy pulled in a respectable largemouth bass.  His excitement was frenzied and untamable! From this moment my son was hooked, (pun intended).  At the end of our time on the water, I loaded the boat while he stood on the dock and continued to cast the Superman.

Yesterday, 15 years later, Isaac and I loaded the boat and set out for the same small lake.  He no longer uses the Superman rod, rather, he uses a fancy baitcasting rod and reel combo.  It is indeed one of his treasured possessions, as he saved a long time for the Fenwick HMG and the Shimano SLX.  Perhaps it would be better said, “was,” one of his treasured possessions, since the rod suddenly blew out of the boat on our way to the lake and was immediately run over by the car directly behind us. 

To say the least, it was devastating.  We were both equally distraught as to what had just happened.  After picking up the broken rod from the roadway, we continued to the lake, both feeling soured from our earlier eagerness.  Our time on the water was subdued.  We caught a fair number of bass and enjoyed our time together, but it was difficult to not remember the loss of what we had just experienced.  At one point Isaac spoke up, “Well…It’s not like I would be taking it to heaven with me anyway.”

When we wrapped up our time on the water, and I was finalizing the securing of the equipment, I looked to the dock where my son stood.  I saw his silhouette against the setting sun as he continued to cast for bass just as he had done 15 years ago from the very same spot. 

He has grown…nearly 4 feet in stature and perhaps 50 feet in spirituality.  His struggle with the loss of the rod was real, but so was the evidence of his faith.  In that moment, he reminded me of what Jesus teaches us in Matthew 6:19-24.  It is easy to store up for ourselves treasures on this earth.  However, just as Jesus says, these treasures will rot, rust, be eaten by moths…or run over by a tailgating vehicle.  Yesterday, I experienced the REAL treasure…time with my son.  He is the one who reminded me of the EVEN GREATER treasure…the GREATEST treasure, the eternal time with Jesus.

May we come to know the GREATEST Treasure.

 Attention Please

It is every child’s desire to be noticed…unless of course, said child is attempting to sneak Christmas cookies out of the freezer two weeks before the big day.  Aside from acts of conniving disobedience, children desire to be praise by their parents, teachers, siblings and friends. 

I remember drawing one particularly ugly portrait of my mother using nothing but the basic 8 pack of Crayola crayons, only to have my mother praise my terrifying work with affectionate words, “Oh Ryan! That is so lovely! Thank you so much! I just love pictures of frogs! This is really good work for a 4-year- old!”

Needless to say, I was incredibly offended.  Not so much because it was a picture of her and not a frog, but more-so because I was 16.

The desire to be noticed grows with us.  Middle school is perhaps the most treacherous, terrifying and yet the most vital time to be noticed by your classmates.  Being noticed is critical as a middle school boy, unless one is being noticed because they spilled their milk in an unfortunate area of their body and have to spend the rest of the day saying, “I didn’t! It’s milk! I spilled my milk! No! It’s not!”

The real goal of any middle school boy is to be noticed by the cute and popular girls.  Unfortunately, most middle school boys have no idea how to go about this without revealing what absolute fools they really are.   I was one of these middle school boys.

I would resort to all kinds of attention seeking foolish acts.  “Hey Amy! How much you want to bet I can jump off Mrs. Marten’s desk?” Before waiting for an answer, I ran, I jumped, I hit my shin on the front of the desk and face planted on the back of Mrs. Marten’s chair, displacing all of the English essays from her desk to the floor.  I scrambled to put all the papers back upon the desktop when Mrs. Marten walked in and immediately assumed that I was doing something foolish…which of course I had been…and asked me to stay after class. 

I wasn’t the only one.  My friends would stuff spaghetti noodles up their noses and thread them out their mouths and begin to floss their sinuses.  Additionally, these same friends would also turn their eyelids inside out, which always created the squealing, “Eew” from the girls.  How jealous I was of these gifted adolescent peers.  The girls always seemed enamored with their really great skills. 

My impressive efforts would at times put me into precarious situations.  On one occasion, 3 volunteers were requested at a youth event at summer camp.  My “friends” volunteered me, and the next thing I knew, I was sitting at a table with my hands tied behind my back and a week’s worth of leftover slop all mixed together on a plate in front of me.  “Ready? Set? Go!”

We then had to eat the slop without using our hands.  The two other “volunteers,” one on my left and one on my right, went to work consuming the insanely disgusting meal of yesterweek.  I tried…I really did.  I actually thought I was doing ok until I crunched an unidentifiable, something, and I lost it all, back onto the plate.  The mass of my peers watching, simultaneously moaned in disgust.  I looked up and saw their frightened faced and heard them say. “Come on Ryan…go! You are losing!”  So I did what any insane middle schooler might do.  I quit. 

I have come to learn that seeking people’s attention and approval is NOT just a kid thing, or a middle school thing.  I still do it today.  My efforts look a lot different today than they did in middle school, but sadly they are still there.  It is a constant struggle to see myself through the eyes of The One.  I want to live my life pleasing The One.  Yet, too often I seek the accolades of others. 

This is what Jesus is talking about in Matthew 6:1-18. Jesus gives several examples of doing good things; praying, fasting and giving.  Yet, he offers the caution of being careful to do these things for God and not for the praises of people.  Through most of my life,  I have received the rewards from people.  Now I am learning to trust in the reward promised by Jesus.

May we come to seek the eternal rewards of Jesus together as we learn to seek after Him alone.

 At First Breath   

 

As we gathered around the table to celebrate my daughter’s 17^th birthday this past week, our discussion turned to the topic of ‘pestering.’  I am not sure how, but the conversation pivoted suddenly into such a path, that I became the immediate defender of past actions.  Perhaps it was due to the fact that my parents had joined us for the celebratory birthday meal.  After consuming an excess amount of chicken wings, mozzarella stick and French fries, my parents revealed their strange vendetta against me for causing such hardships in their lives from my childhood years. I struggle to see how this can be the case, as I only remember the loving acts of kindness demonstrated from my hands and heart, which regularly poured positive reinforcement into the lives of my family.

One such false accusation became evident when my effort to help my siblings learn to swim was tragically spun into accusations of misdeeds and attacks.  Sadly, my parents and siblings seem to believe that it was out of some cruel and proletarian effort that I held the heads of my brothers and sister under the lake water during our summer trips to the lake.  I insist that these are groundless accusations.  It was purely for their benefit, as I was offering several life lessons that have doubtless helped to make them into the men and woman that they are today.  Perhaps they did not realize that I was benevolently gifting them the ability to hold their breath for extended periods of time.  The skill of holding ones breath has many valuable benefits.  Some such benefits include; improved underwater swimming, preparation for a prolonged visit to Mars, setting one up for the unfortunate event of being inconveniently buried underground and even improved parenting. Parents can find a great benefit in learning to hold their breath hoping that their teenage son or daughter will begin to make better and safer decisions.

Additionally, my brothers and sister obviously missed the fact that I was offering a great revelation as to the value of life.  My kinsmen should have been able to make note of the sweet breath of air that God has given them as their faces burst forth from beneath the surface of the lake.  I can’t figure as to why they did not come to appreciate this gift of spiritual awareness.

 Am I thanked? No! Rather, I am criticized.

I don’t know that we really appreciate breath and breathing. 

I remember one such breath of life that shook my world.  It was on a cold day in late January, near the end of my 27^th year of life.  My wife lay in a hospital bed struggling to breath. 

“You have to help her!” One of the nurses barked at me. “She needs to calm down!”

“Sarah, you have to take it easy.  Calm down! Slow down! The nurses are here to help,” I insisted.

“I can’t!  I can’t! I can’t breathe!”

It was at this point that one of the nurses shoved me out of the way and grabbed my wife’s face and placed her own nose about 2 inches away from my wife.  “Listen to me Sarah…breathe with me…breathe with me.”

Sarah began to replicate the breathing and she was soon able to calm down.  Then after two more pushes a new scream pierced the air and filled the room as my newborn daughter took her first breath.  When the nurse had swaddled this new child and placed her into my arms, I found that everything I thought I knew about love changed.  It wasn’t as though I hadn’t loved before; rather, I had suddenly come to realize love in a way that was both unconditional and irrational. 

As I held this child for the first time, I watched her open her eyes and look up at me, and though I did not yet “know” her…I loved her and I would rather die than let anything hurt or harm her.  I also felt convinced that God felt the same way about her too.  I am willing to bet that many of us have had similar thoughts or experiences.  Yet, let’s be honest, it is much easier for us to see God’s love for our children, than for ourselves…or even more so…our enemies. 

If we are willing to read the scriptures for their genuine message, we will find that God loves the whole world and does not want anyone to perish, (John 3:16).  Additionally, he is crazy with love for people…our children, you, me…members of the Minnesota Vikings and the Green Bay Packers…Joe Biden and Donald Trump. 

This doesn’t mean that he approves of everything that we do.  He does not approve of our sin…but make no mistake God loves us…and he wants us to love one another…including our “enemies,” (Matt. 5:33-48).

May we come to see how much God loves us and our enemies.

 Keep Walking

I spent the last few days attending the Minnesota State Track and Field Meet.  I always find myself in awe of the ability that these high school students can achieve on the track and in the field.  As I sat among a plethora of Little Falls Flyers fans taking in the races, we were collectively engaged in each and every event, particularly the ones where our athletes were competing.   

Every year, there are contrasting moments of highs and lows among these events.  This year experienced many new state records, a number of underdogs becoming state champions, some “would-be” favorites fell short of victory, and some of these races were just incredibly close and exciting.  There were several moments where athletes encountered the never desirable, “agony of defeat.”  I watched one young man who, sprinting down the final stretch, battling to win the preliminary heat of the 4x200m relay, suddenly came up short after severely injuring his hamstring.  He, along with his 3 relay teammates, watched their hopes of a medal fade away, as every other team passed him while he continued to hobble across the finish line. 

In the girls 300m hurdle prelim, the strong favorite to win the gold medal caught her trail foot on the final hurdle and fell face first into the track.  She got up and stumbled across the finish line but not before all of the other runners had finished and her hopes of a gold medal in the 300m hurdle dissipated with the remaining dew of the morning.  In a great affect of grief and sorrow, she slunk to the track and lay prostrate and wept, being wrought with emotion. Her opponents gathered around her, picked her up and helped her to her feet.  While she was given multiple hugs and words of encouragement I looked at the tournament program to see what grade she was in.  When I saw that she was in 11^th grade and had another year before her, I proclaimed to those around me, “She’ll be back.”  Though, I have no power to guarantee that will be the case, I remain convinced. 

As I look at my own life of mistakes and consider all of the times I have fallen flat on my face, I can also think of those who God has sent to surround me and pick me up off of the ground and encourage me by telling me that it is not over and insisting that we can start again.

One of the strong messages that we see in Scripture is…”don’t quit.”  We see phrases such as, “stand firm,” “persevere,” and “endure.” In Matthew 5, Jesus continues his Sermon on the Mount, in which he offers another example of how he has raised the bar, of expected righteousness.  Incredibly, he takes the capable act of NOT committing adultery and making it impossible by saying that even if we have impure thoughts we are guilty of committing the sin of adultery.  There I am…flat on my face once again. As I have noted before, Jesus is driving at our hearts ahead of our actions.  It hurts when we fall, but I am convinced that God wants us…every aspect of us…including, and especially, our hearts…to be able to get our eyes back on Him…and keep walking.  We can keep walking.  He helps us back up…and we start walking…with our eyes on Him and not on our failures.  His mercies are new every morning, and this ensures endless second chances until we are united with Him for all eternity.

May we learn to keep doing the hard work of getting up...and keeping our eyes fixed on Jesus as we walk.