I Had No Idea

My family and I enjoy watching American Ninja Warrior on television.  We sit and watch these remarkable athletes take to an obstacle course where they, fly through the air, run across balance obstacles and hang by their finger nails above pools of water.  Years ago, when we first began encountering the competition, I remember thinking… “You know…back in the day…maybe I could have done that.” 

Sometimes I envision myself on the course...running across the tiny steps leading to a bar hanging high above the water…I jump and grip the bar…only to have both of my arms leave my body and continue to hang from the bar while the rest of my armless torso falls into the water turning the crystal blue pool into a Kool-Aid stained whirlpool.

There is no way that I can do what I watch these athletes do.  It is not just my age.  One season we watched an old man run the course, only to lose his dentures during an untimely dismount. It is also my physical capacities…or perhaps the diminishing dexterity.

Time after time we watch new…rookie…athlete take to the course, only to report… “That is tougher than it looks…I had no idea.”

It reminds me of parenting.  I have been a father for nearly 16 years now.  You would think that after 16 years of experience, I would be an expert.  However…full disclosure…I have no idea what I am doing. 

When a couple is expecting their first child it is highly recommended that the couple attends a “birthing class”  These classes aren’t designed so much as to teach you how to “have a baby,” but rather for instructors to laugh at the soon to be parents’ ignorance and naivety. 

“Now is there a father who would like to demonstrate how to change this baby doll’s diaper? You sir…why don’t you come up and show us.” The instructor snickers.

“Who me?”

“Sure…come on up…nothing to be shy about.”

“Ok”

“Ummm…sir…you do know which end of the baby that the diaper goes on right???”

“Yeah…why?”

“Because I am pretty sure that doll can no longer breathe…This might be the time to transition into what NOT to do to your new baby.”

The instructor then begins to teach on the dangers of shaking a child and sleep deprivation and the crying and the stress of parenting as she hands out stress balls.

I remember thinking, “How can anyone get so frustrated and sleep deprived that they could actually endanger their child.” 

I had no idea!  During the first week of my firstborn’s life, I learned that I have no coping skills for a screaming baby at 3:00 a.m.

However, I learned to pretend to sleep through the crying until my remarkable wife tended to the early morning needs of our daughter. I am sorry dear…I will never do that again…as long as we don’t have any more kids.

I remember the very day that my wife and I brought our first baby girl home.  I think I even said out loud, “I have no idea what I am doing…what do we do now?”

Parenting is much more difficult than I could have ever expressed before heading into it.  I had no idea.

Likewise, I believe that there is an absolute truth about God…that we also have “no idea about.”

God is Holy.  It sounds simple enough, but I think that if we were to ever encounter God’s perfect Holiness, we would be absolutely destroyed.  Perhaps our faces would peel clean off of our skulls…or we would collapse into a puddle of plasma.  I think we have become accustomed to talking about God’s holiness…but I don’t think we truly understand his holiness. 

Take a moment and think of God.  Picture Him.  Envision Him on his massive throne.  Now…envision Him bigger...once you have that, consider…your picture of God is NOT big enough.  In fact, it can never be big enough.  As big as you think God is…he is bigger.  As perfect as you think God is…he is more perfect.  As loving as you think God is…he is more loving.  It goes on and on and on.

The prophet Isaiah briefly experienced a mere glance at God’s holiness (Isaiah 6:1-8) and couldn’t stand.  What about you?

Have you encountered the Holy God? Have you found yourself “ruined”? Have you, like Isaiah, experienced purification by His grace?

May you come to the end of yourself…and find a Holy God…giving unending grace.